I wish I could punch you in the face.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
