His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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