Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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