My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
