Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Randomize
