mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize