You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
