they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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