You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
soo... how was my night?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize