i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
