wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
