Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
