# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
