i don't like sucking hair
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
