Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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