Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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