we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
