I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
