dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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