i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize