she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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