I think my fart just growled at me.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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