help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
