i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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