I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
