He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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