We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
