i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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