All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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