Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
