i dont even know how to be here
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
