I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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