i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize