Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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