ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
