I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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