What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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