omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
