When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
