I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
