i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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