Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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