I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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