it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
