would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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