did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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