Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
