Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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