and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The Olympian is in my bed
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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