You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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