I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
