I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
