i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
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The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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