sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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