Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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