Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
