Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
my being single is dangerous.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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