My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
