9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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