I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I am naked and annoyed.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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