Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
