so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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